She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
