If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
