Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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