fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
