its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
