Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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