Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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