god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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