I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
