was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
honey bunches of taint.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
