haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
