Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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