my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
