You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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