How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
