is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
