There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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