My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
wow bdsm is so cute
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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