Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
