Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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