if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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