I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
