the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
