I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
