Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
