i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
