I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
