is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
