Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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