ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
