We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
