He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
