She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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