butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
