Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize
