been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
