At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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