I'm really into asian looking animals
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
