maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
