Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
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