just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
