I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize