did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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