I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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