turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
we're making bets on your personal life
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
