So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
