His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
