The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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