just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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