I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
