He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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